Surviving Grief.... There's Nothing to Fix

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Hello and hope you are having a good Friday!

This is one of the most powerful and real pieces I have read on grief. I hope it makes a difference in your life too.

Much Love,
Kathy

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There’s Nothing To Fix
I've often felt invisible in my grief, because let’s be honest, grief makes people very uncomfortable. No one likes to see or acknowledge its presence. Its force and depth scares people.
They don’t want it to happen to them and they don’t like the reminder that it could.
I used to feel that I had to be invisible in my grief. I used to feel that if I was honest and open about how very much I missed the one I love, even after so many years, I would be judged or criticized, or even left by those around me.
It's true, I've been judged and criticized, because people thought I should “get over” my grief, and that I was wallowing in it. Each and every time that happens it hurts.
I'm just a person who grieves the person I lost, and I will until the day I leave this earth.
What I wish people knew is that these facts are true and also don't negate the good and joy in my life. I'm capable of living both. This continued grief doesn't make me weak, or unhealthy, or emotionally unstable. It makes me strong.
Here’s the thing…it takes courage to love beyond death.
It's hard to live in a world that wants to make my grief invisible.
I wish people understood that while our society runs from grief and death, I don't. I'm not afraid of the hugeness of grief and emotion.
I've withstood a loss that battered the very heart in my chest and yet it still beats, still loves, and still lives.
I wish people knew that the silence and the concern about my lack of letting go doesn't help me or anyone else.
But listening, loving, and accepting me wherever I happen to be, does help me. My putting on a happy face for them may make them feel more comfortable, but it also damages our relationship and hurts me deeply.
My continued grief doesn't mean I haven't accepted the loss of the one I love. Trust me, I know what I lost. Accepting my loss doesn't mean I no longer want what I had back. I accept my situation. I'll just never forget, or stop feeling sad about what's missing in my life.
What I wish people knew is they can't fix me. No words and no actions can fix my loss.
It can't be fixed...because there's nothing to fix.
Gary Sturgis - Surviving Grief